With Merv Griffin Entertainment producing Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison‘s reality show because apparently their marriage WASN’T about a love as pure as a man purchasing a child bride in the driven snow – *throws stuffed animal across room, curses God* – all they need now is a network to pick up the pilot, so naturally they went straight to MTV. And if they somehow don’t snatch it up, I’ll be surprised if at bare minimum they don’t offer Courtney a spot on next season’s Teen Mom. “We think you’d be perfect in keeping with our theme of really glamorizing the fuck out of irresponsibly bringing a child into the world then watching it never stand a chance at a normal, healthy life. And if you’re concerned about the old man shooting blanks – No offense, Doug. – just give me a ring because we’re still mopping up the Jersey Shore house, so God knows we’ve got bags of the shit. In fact, tell you what I’ll do – *presses intercom* – Could you send Snooki here with a bucket to stand over for a few minutes? — Then go to the store and buy more pickles to lure her in. Jesus.”

Photos: GSI Media