Jeffrey Campbell Lolitas. 10-inch Noritaka Tatehana platforms. Alexander McQueen…um, lobster feets. Do you guys remember a time when Lady Gaga wasn’t wear gigantic platform freak boots every time she left the house? It’s hard to believe it, but such a time existed. Personally, we’re ready for that time to be now…again. After watching Gaga struggle to navigate the stairs of a Sydney dock this weekend, we are asking, nay pleading, that Mother Monster give this style a rest. She doesn’t have to put on loafers, but just some other kind of footwear to mix it up once in a while. Anything! As our look at Gaga’s past footwear proves, she has done pretty much everything she can with this stagger-inducing look. More than everything, really:

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Let’s address the first problem we have with Gaga’s platform monstrosities (and we don’t mean that in a good way): they are abnormally difficult to walk in, as Gaga’s super-biff in Heathrow Airport in June 2010 proved.

The woman is an international superstar, but photo after photo shows her entourage having to help her with simple tasks like, say, not breaking her ankle while getting into an SUV. Not a great look.

You never wore a giant plastic hula hoop dress after the one you sported at the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards in January 2010. Why did the platforms become nearly permanent?

Her visit to Japan in April 2010 was one of the first time Gaga wore platforms outside of the red carpet or concert hall…

And by fall 2010 Gaga was totally committed to the gigantic shoes, like her Lolita look in London in October 2010.

And 2011…well, you remember 2011. As Gaga’s February photoshoot on the Lower East Side proved, it was a bad year for pants, a great year for gigantic deformed platforms.

Look, we don’t mean to rip on Lady Gaga’s steez; you know we love her like whoa. We just don’t understand how she got caught in such an obvious footwear rut. Gaga reinvents literally ever other aspect of her look week to week. Maybe it’s time she does the same…for her shoe game.

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