First things first: fashion! Fashion before boobs, always. These are photos of Duchess Kate and Prince William at a reception in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia yesterday. Kate is wearing a Temperley Fall 2012 dress – on the runway, this dress was black with gold lace. Kate loves lace, I think – she seems to enjoy lots and lots of lace overlays, lace sleeves, lace insets, lace, lace, lace. Most of the time, I tend to think it makes her look like a giant, walking doily… but I kind of like this dress. It’s pretty and feminine and a little bit girly, but it’s not cloyingly sweet like something Taylor Swift would wear.

Now, onto the scandal! We need a name for it… like… The Epic Boob & Crumpet Scandal of 2012. Or “Duchess Boob-gate,” which has a particularly nice ring to it. Anyway… when these photos were taken, William and Kate already knew about the boob photos in the French magazine, Closer. Prince William is said to be royally pissed (“pissed” in the American vernacular, meaning “to be very angry,” as opposed to “drunk off his ass” in British parlance) at the French mag, and Will wants to use this controversy as a way to limit the press’s access to he and Kate even further. And of course, the Right Honorable Royal Barristers have been summoned. And they wasted no time in actually suing Closer. The Palace confirmed on Friday that “legal proceedings for breach of privacy have been commenced today in France” and the lawsuit claims that the magazine breached Will and Kate’s “right to privacy” while vacationing at a private estate in France.

Meanwhile, the editor of Closer is defending her decision to publish the photos. Editor-in-chief Laurence Pieau said, “These photos are not in the least shocking. They show a young woman sunbathing topless, like the millions of women you see on beaches. It is a young couple that has just been married. They are in love. They are beautiful. She is the princess of the 21st century.” She says the outrage over the photos are “disproportionate”… which I kind of agree with her on that. But! Late Friday/early Saturday, Closer did pull the images off of their website, releasing another statement: “Following comments received after the publication of photos of Kate and William in Closer magazine France, we would like to make the following clarifications: This is the French edition of Closer and not the English edition. The photos we chose are by no means degrading. They show a young couple on vacation, beautiful, in love, living a normal life. The article reports that the couple recently vacationed in the south of France.”

Oh, and there are more photos too! Pieau teased: “I won’t hide the fact that there are more intimate pictures that exist that we haven’t published and will not publish. These are images full of joy, not degrading.” Well well well. That’s interesting, isn’t it? Now my interest is certainly piqued. If there are photos of William going to town on Kate’s duchess biscuits, I DEMAND to see the photos. I might get my wish – there are reports this morning that an Italian tabloid, Chi, has bought the photos as well, and plans to publish them. And FINALLY, people are beginning to raise questions about the security that surrounds the young royals – coming on the heels of the Prince Harry stuff, the fact that a paparazzo was even able to get this close to William and Kate speaks to (what I think is) the main issue: the royal protection officers are bad at their jobs. It’s amateur hour over there.

PS… Her hair!! It’s finally pulled back! And she even put some really pretty pearl stuff in the bun.

Photos courtesy of WENN.