On Sunday’s episode of Correct Blood, the witches and the vampires square off for what is confident to be this season’s battle royale. Sookie, for possibly the 1st time in the series, finds herself utterly alone in her fight against the globe. Tara is off battling vampires. Alcide has reconciled with Debbie. Jason is too busy becoming forced to propagate a race of werepanthers. Bill is consumed by Portia Bellefleur and other kingly matters. Even her faerie godmother has abandoned her! Certain, Sookie has Amnesia Eric, but in his latest state, what aid is he? I ask you: Who will spend consideration to Sookie, the neediest waitress in all of Renard Parish?! Study on to discover out.

GONE TO ALCIDE

Let’s speak about Alcide for a minute. One appear at this season’s promotional materials tells you that the producers have decided to enlarge the Sookie Stackhouse really like triangle (Bill-Sookie-Eric) into a square with the addition of Alcide. (Due to the fact what this display actually desires is more characters!) I guess we’ll have to wait and see if the season lives up to that promise, but so far Alcide’s presence hasn’t been what you’d call substantive. He’s like a quite manly side dish to the major course that consists of Eric and Bill. Confident, he sort of helped Sookie locate Bill. And in his very own pack-organizing way, he sort of helped defeat Russell. But mostly he just fumed at the antics of his junkie ex and apologized profusely to Sookie for either endangering her life or generating a pass at her. As I’ve mentioned, I have not read Charlaine Harris’ novels, but I have to assume that his function in the world (and life) of Sookie Stackhouse was significantly richer than it has been on the Television show.

This week’s episode is a good instance of a typical non-starter Alcide story line. Sookie goes to Shreveport (in which Alcide has moved) to ask for his help in babysitting the amnesiac Eric. When she arrives at Alcide’s home, she finds a quite domesticated Debbie Pelt, aka the trashy, savage lady-wolf V addict who, last we saw her, was attempting to kill Sookie. But now here she is, in a sun-dappled living room, providing Sookie Vienna sausages, squash pickles and crawfish dip (3 items that sound dee-licious… when you’re drunk). She explains that now that she’s sober, and has the system, Jesus and Alcide on her side, she’d like to make amends.

How does Miss Sookie respond to Debbie’s genteel expression of contrition? She storms out of the house like a jealous ex! But why precisely? Final season, the writers may possibly have desired us to consider that, in spite of any actual relationship, Sookie was attracted to Alcide, but personally I never felt it. Nonetheless, Alcide follows her outside and apologizes for not telling her about Debbie and agrees to support with Eric. (Again, why?) And that is it! I can get down with narrative shorthand to get from Scene A to Scene B in a timely manner, but in the case of this pairing, there has been no story, no romantic relationship to skip over, so it all appears, effectively, unnecessary. We’ll see if future episodes adjust my opinion.

GHOST MAMA AND GHOST DADDY

Over in Hotshot, we hear the tale of Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy, who had been eaten by panthers and then regurgitated to turn out to be the very first werepanthers — or some thing, I don’t know. Meanwhile, underneath the tin roofs of Shantytown, Crystal has lovingly ready the badly mauled Jason a medicinal tea… of Mexican Viagra. You see, it is organization time for Jason and Crystal, and as she mounts him clinically, she reminds him that he was often looking for a objective in life, and now he’s discovered it. I suppose there are worse fates.

WWW.VAMPS-KILL.COM

The initial political allegory of the season targets the YouTube generation and their propensity for filming… every thing. It seems that Bill has made a new law that any vampire who is caught on film feeding on a human shall be sentenced to the correct death. We see one such hapless vamp, who is featured on the site www.vamps-kill.com (yes, it is a “actual” site), taken away in cuffs to face his gooey fate. One other advancement: The extremely aggressive Portia Bellefleur has decided that she and Bill need to date (study: fang-bang), and because Portia is a gal who is employed to obtaining what she desires, they shall.

“THE DIRTY DOLL”

This section is about Jessica. Just kidding… sort of! Following seeking counsel from her maker Bill, Jessica decides to come clean with Hoyt about her fang-banging feeding frenzy at Fangtasia. Naturally, he’s incensed because he’s the greatest boyfriend ever, so Jessica panics and glamours him into forgetting the entire issue. But there is also an actual dirty doll, that evil talisman that keeps popping up, even although each Jessica and Hoyt have gone to great lengths to get rid of it. So Jessica decides to give it to Arlene and Terry’s infant Mikey. Who in their right mind would permit a baby — even an evil one particular! — to play with that filthy factor!

THE ONLY LIVING BOYS IN BON TEMPS

Speaking of dolls, Maxine loves getting hideous holiday-themed ones on the house-buying channel. Whilst she’s busy chatting with the operator, Tommy answers a knock on the door. It’s a man from the gas business, who says that Maxine’s property is worth large bucks. Tommy quickly devises a strategy, which he shares with Sam, to buy Maxine’s home out from under her, therefore robbing her of any organic gas-related windfall. Sam is, naturally, disgusted. But Sam shouldn’t be too judgmental, since his tongue virtually unfurls like a cartoon coyote’s when he sees that Tara is back in town. Doesn’t he have a hot shifter maybe-girlfriend?

ERIC IS SORRY (BUT WE’RE NOT)

Even though Alcide may well not seem to be a viable candidate for the position of Sookie’s boyfriend/caretaker, Eric’s amnesia has transformed his carnivorous sexual hunger into some thing, dare I say, plausibly charming? With Bill off ruling and stuff, it now seems totally feasible that Sookie may fall for this childlike, curious, polite, sweet version of Eric. He’s nonetheless a vampire, of course, which was produced clear in this episode when he chomped indiscriminately on Claudine till she was lowered to a pile of faerie dust. (Does that imply the end of Sookie’s faerie origin story? I guess wishes can come true!)

But what is not to really like about Amnesia Eric? He dresses like Jason Stackhouse, combs his hair like Dwight Schrute and calls Sookie “Snooki.” Hilarious. Plus: He says “sorry” a great deal, in a rote teenage style like he just got caught shaving the cat or a thing. It definitely won’t be all hearts and flowers for this pair, though, if Pam’s freakout — and subsequent allegation that Bill is attempting to kill Eric — is any indication.

THE VAMPIRE SLAYERS

In the wake of Eric’s attack on the witches coven, the ladies and gentlemen of Ye Olde Shoppe of Sandalwood Candles and Reanimation want to retaliate. They don’t know that Marnie’s curse in fact worked, you see. Lafayette, maybe remembering that it was not so extended ago that he was chained in Eric’s basement to a redneck and a bucket, tries to dissuade them of any such foolish notion. Tara, unsurprisingly, is not at all sympathetic to the vampire trigger, but warns Lafayette not to get involved. He does not listen, of course, and heads off to Fangtasia to beg Eric’s forgiveness. Pam, who knows what the witches have completed, will take her anger out on poor Laf. If Tara and Jesus didn’t arrive with a wooden-bullet-loaded gun, who understands what would have occurred to him? “I will give you 24 hours to generate that witch, and if you do not, I will personally consume, f— and kill each a single of you,” Pam tells the trio.  And you know she will. Meanwhile, back at Ye Olde Shoppe, Marnie is undertaking all sorts of witchly points like cutting her wrist and seeing dead men and women that seem to indicate that she will be a formidable foe for Pam in the coming weeks.

So what did you think of “If You Really like Me, Why Am I Dying?”? (Aside: In lieu of an outro that mirrors the episode title, we ultimately heard “Season of the Witch,” a funky, distaff version by former supermodel Karen Elson.) Do you wish we’d see more — or less — of Alcide? Are you down with what the witches are brewing? Are you dreading the day Eric gets his memory back? And what ought to Jason and Crystal name their very first cub? (Mowgli Bob? Simba Sue?) Let me know in the comments beneath!

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On Sunday’s episode of Accurate Blood, the witches and the vampires square off for what is confident to be this season’s battle royale. Sookie, for possibly the 1st time in the series, finds herself utterly alone in her battle against the globe. Tara is off battling vampires. Alcide has reconciled with Debbie. Jason is too busy being forced to propagate a race of werepanthers. Bill is consumed by Portia Bellefleur and other kingly matters. Even her faerie godmother has abandoned her! Positive, Sookie has Amnesia Eric, but in his present state, what support is he? I ask you: Who will pay focus to Sookie, the neediest waitress in all of Renard Parish?! Study on to find out.

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